Leading worship for the first time (in a long time) was so much fun. It was so nice to step into such an amazing pool of talent and hearts that just want to glorify God… it’s been about 6 months since I have been a part of anything like it and I’m truly honored to have had that opportunity.
Such a strange dichotomy though, It was everything I remembered and it was all new. On top of that, it was strangely emotional for me. Ok, admittedly I am not an unemotional guy – I wear them on my sleeve and generally can’t hide what I’m feeling… (I think it’s a creative thing) but after it was over, after the lights and music fade and everyone says their “goodbye” and “see ya next week,” I found myself almost sad. Sitting home with my kids and thinking about all the changes life had brought this year and wondering why, after such an amazing and intimate time of worship and meeting with God, why am I feeling this?
Life has a tendency to harden us. It’s the way things go, this battle prepares us for the next one, and so on. Worship, however, softens us to be sensitive to the heart of God, to be open to the leading of His Spirit. Worship allows us, or forces us, to push beyond the walls we have set up. I’m honestly not really sure if worship requires or causes softening of the heart.
But if the heart is softened and made more pliable through worship it explains my emotional state… it at least helps me understand it.
We all go through battles, some of which God set us up for, some we step into on our own. But I don’t think God wants a bunch of hardened, battle scarred Christians walking around, not caring, not feeling, desensitized to the world around them. I know it seems easier to not feel, to not care… but I don’t think that’s His way.
The point is to let God work what He needs to in you. There are some walls we need to break down, but some of our experiences we need to never forget. There are people that need the softness of your heart and there are still battles that you will have you fight through. God will work out the balance.